Sonnet #92

When the snow falls,

I’ll write you a letter.

When the party stalls,

it’ll remind you of when things were better.

There will be a Hendrix quote,

and I’ll draw a sun in the top left hand corner.

I’ll allude to the time when we danced next to that moat,

and got our picture taken by that foreigner.

I’ll tuck that picture in the envelope,

maybe you’ll look at it and it’ll make you smile.

Like I do when I think about how you taught me to use a microscope,

and when we started copying each others style.

If this letter reaches you, please, reply.

So that I can be aware that you exist. I’ll be waiting for you in the sky.

Lonely man syndrome

Trying to make a house into a home
When I'm meant to be alone.
Begging for affection
Searching for a connection
Middle of the night I have reply anxiety,
waiting on your text
drowning in society.
Trying to juggle a life trapped in hell
revered in piety.
So much on my plate but I feel like I'm dieting.
So much on my shoulders
I'm 6 degrees colder
I can't find a sweater to make me all better.
It's seems that retail and females are the solution
but they can't clear the smoke or clean up all the pollution.
Im fighting and I'm trying to go through life without a frown
yet it seems what holds me up is the same thing knocking me down.
Where do I go who do I speak to who has advice.
Every time I bake a cake everybody wants a slice.
Dreaming wide awake and when I doze off
I jump up in the middle of the night
So my nights become my day
The days are cloudy and grey.
Everybody wants an answer but I don't know what to say.
One day I'll come alive
and the dreams that haunt my mind
Will be stories that will survives for decades and ages
And never be extinct.
I feel like I'm missing a scene Everytime i blink.

Girls flirt left and right

in my search for the right one.
All I discover is the wrong, though the wrong seems right,
because she's right when she's wrong.
Eventually I let her go, then come to find out she was right all along.
Now it's too late,
if I leave it up to fate
Tomorrow she'll be on a date
6 months in with a mate
who she's thinks is great although she knows he's not for her
she'll settle rather than wait.
Then the wrong will seem right until it goes wrong
and those days that were bright will be dim and grim
Now she's stuck with him because she can't walk away
Almost 2 years now so she figures she'll stay.
So nobody wins because the guy who loves her isn't getting 100 percent.
He'll end up heart broken
Habitually poking any chick with a hole
as big as the one in his chest.
And she'll be chasing me
While I'm on a quest
with the one I love to be together forever.
However. We're all chasing what we once had because we had a sample but didn't put it in the bag.
Now everybody's sad
the worlds gone mad.
I'm standing here appalled because I saw it unravel and watched everybody fall when I could've saved us all.

You want what you can't have.

I want what I want.
You touch but you can't grab.
I hate that you don't.
I embraced it at first
but now it's the worst because you can't find a beverage to quench your thirst.
As for me, I'm not thirsty.

If I had to read all of the text with my name over top that goes unread,

I'd write a book with ink in red,
so much love goes over my head.
I presume it's karma because I do the same so I understand you're not to blame.
I take accountability for everything that happens in my life
Because it's my life.

Sonnet #91

These days I have more missed calls than answered.

68 unread text,
and appointments get canceled.
Who's next?
I hurt the people that I love
I can't word how I feel
I'm shedding tears in the tub,
life is harder than ever, for real.
Chugging beers,
wiping tears off my iPhone screen.
Things I write are consolation for my fears.
I can't stand without a lean
I don't know if it's a dream.
Am I acting? Well, scene.

I am the broken chord on the black guitar that will never stop playing.
I am the vocal chord of the poor young girls heart that would never stop singing.
Playing sweet nothings until my doom.
The lonely black sheep lost in the corner of the room.
The room is full of people smiling through their chest.
I'm smiling too, but through the emptiness I digest.
I am the tear that just won't come out.
I am the fear your mommy warned you about.
I am the heart that never skips a beat.
I am the brain that always wants a peek.
I am the faucet that will never cease to leak.
I am the other half you never got to meet.
I am the story you always hear but never got to read.
I am the soul of the elder who cries.
My glasses reflect so that you can't indulge into my eyes.
I am that yawn that puts you to sleep.
I am the memories to whom you regret you said goodbye.

Sonnet #90

You say I can't love you no matter what
I don't show it.
Every time I come I leave cuts
and I know it.
I can't fight what I don't know.
Everyday I learn.
When I leave i tend to grow.
This may burn
but I have to give you all I can
If I don't try
I can't be a man
Let me die.
As long as I know my love was forreal
That's a life for that mankind should guild

White flakes are falling,

the sky is foggy.

The lakes I gaze into are freezing and hardening.

Everybody's coupled, I'm left to freeze with the lakes

I stiffen and drift into an eerie state.

Everything that lived inside during the warm and balmy summer,

has taken a dive into eternal slumber.

The breeze blows, but it's frigid

and unforgiving. No leaves to fly,

it's a difficult time for the living.

Feeling claustrophobic under my covers.

This is a season like no other.

A world spinning,

society sinning,

people like me just can't stop grinning.

She...

It's just not fair,

how a stroke of her hair,

can leave me impaired.

I'd run a thousand miles

If I knew that at the finish line

I'd witness the gift of her smile.

I've raced her race,

left me displaced,

sampling a bitter taste.

She's moved on,

and I'm a good friend,

with a shoulder to lend,

for every tear she sheds.

For I know that when her heart is aching,

so is mines,

she's my eternal valentine.

I awake to a phone call saying,

I'm outside. I get up, cover my chest with my vest.

Slip on my shoes and head home to my nest.

It feels good to see the sun is shining, and the birds are whining.

I take a shower and get dressed,

I've seen better days but I'll make this the best.

Another phone call I answer with haste,

a friend of mines with some drugs to waste.

I rush to his house, we fill his bathroom with smoke,

order some food, pick it up and hit the rode.

Downtown we go, I had to buy some shades.

Cover my eyes, the human razor blades.

Go to Starbucks indulge in a Mocha,

time to take a cold walk back to the car.

On the way there I saw a girl I was supposed to

have lunch with but she stood me up.

She smiles and says hey as she stares me down and looks me up.

She wanted to say more but the shame was too much.

Back home to the abyss I head,

sitting in the dark with my shades on because my eyes are so red,

and low. To the moon I'll go, hopefully there's no one there I know.

Crack open a Coors Light and turn up Ready to Die,

I'm feeling like a star and I don't know why.

No matter where I go it's bright, cover your eyes.

And I'm shooting through your life, and I'm shooting through your sky.

Let me be your supernova.

Sonnet #89

Autumn nights her hair blowing in the wind.

Laying on the grass by the lake.

I don't know when I'll feel this again,

Loneliness is my most common mate.

Cuddled on the couch talking to the TV,

voices bombarding my head.

The eyes stare the voices glare but they aren't talking to me.

I'm imagining she's in my bed.

The pillows never seem to hug back.

iTunes playlist aren't quite my forte of conversation

I'd rather a guitar solo on a broken track,

than to admit I'm taking a lonely vacation.

I'm going hoping that when I reappear

my sweet darling lonely will disappear.